instagator
New Member
Being located at ground zero for landfall of hurricane Frances, the Coast Guard has closed the port for our floating casinos since Wednesday. Wow, what a great excuse to evacuate to Biloxi. Thursday both floaters left port. Hopefully they'll sail into the Devil's Triangle and never be seen again.
But before leavin' for the land of the 24 hr. double downs we have to secure the homestead for 145mph winds and a 20 ft. storm surge. Geezus, how in the world do you do that?
First of all I gotta have money. The Atms are all out of money and the lines to the tellers stretch out the front door. After an hour wait I was told I could only withdraw $300 at a time, the teller seemed unmoved by explicative deletions, and now I have drawn the attention of 2 security guards. So after giving both guards my best Phil Helmuth snarl I'm off to Home Depot.
Whoa! The line there is wrapped around the shopping center. After a 2hr wait in line we we're told they were out of plywood. But trucks were on their way from Tampa. I stay around long enough to watch a couple of rounds between 2 trailer trash macho types. I try to get some action on the biker with no front teeth without any luck so I head home for some damage prevention.
First I decide to stop for gas. More unbelievable lines. A pick up truck and a Mercedes run into each other trying to get to the pump. I try to get action on the pickup but there are no takers, so I continued home.
I spend the rest of the day moving everything of valuable into the attic or at least 6 feet above the floor. The $100,000 Caesars Invitational trophy takes precedence over the wedding picture. Oh well, sleeping on the couch again. After 2 more trips back to Home Depot I finally score 12 sheets of plywood Thursday morning. I make two extra trips around the parking lot just to piss off the others in the marathon length line.
The media is telling us we have a mandatory evacuation starting at noon but I'm cutting plywood singing, "I'm here for the party, and I ain't leaving till the throw me out". I must be getting on my neighboor's nerves, cause he's yelling "Shut the hell up, Gretchen". I respond with a 1 finger salutation, I got to learn to turn the Skill saw off the next time I do that.
My boarding up is completed by 6:00pm. 6 hrs after the mandatory evacuation. The cops have discontinued their patrols trying to get me to leave. The gas stations have long been closed due to empty pumps. The TV are showing that the interstate and turnpike are at a stand still. No hotels left in the state. Called Disney looking for a room they've got one for $288/night, 3 day minimum. I gave them instructions of how they should get Mickey neutered.
Looks like I'm riding this thing out. At 11:00 pm I decide to drive down the beach. It reminds you of a Twilight Zone episode. There is no one here. Errrriiieee.... I did pass one couple. One of them looked like a ZZ Topp album cover and she was the one wearing the dress. Maybe this is the Twilight Zone!
Got to go home and do something about this sunburn. This is ironic. I've got first degree burns preparing for a hurricane.
Friday morning my dog falls into river chasing a boat with 3 dogs aboard. He probably sensed the impending doom and tried to jump aboard in an effort to escape. After I fished him out of the river he looked at me with that "what are you nuts for staying here looks".
Well in lieu of live action I'll be relegated to my simulator in anticipation of the up coming Beau Rivage "Flying Asses" BJ tournament. Hope you all see me there. This is scarier than doubling a hard 19. I'll send you updates as long as we have power.
So long from the swamp,
IG
But before leavin' for the land of the 24 hr. double downs we have to secure the homestead for 145mph winds and a 20 ft. storm surge. Geezus, how in the world do you do that?
First of all I gotta have money. The Atms are all out of money and the lines to the tellers stretch out the front door. After an hour wait I was told I could only withdraw $300 at a time, the teller seemed unmoved by explicative deletions, and now I have drawn the attention of 2 security guards. So after giving both guards my best Phil Helmuth snarl I'm off to Home Depot.
Whoa! The line there is wrapped around the shopping center. After a 2hr wait in line we we're told they were out of plywood. But trucks were on their way from Tampa. I stay around long enough to watch a couple of rounds between 2 trailer trash macho types. I try to get some action on the biker with no front teeth without any luck so I head home for some damage prevention.
First I decide to stop for gas. More unbelievable lines. A pick up truck and a Mercedes run into each other trying to get to the pump. I try to get action on the pickup but there are no takers, so I continued home.
I spend the rest of the day moving everything of valuable into the attic or at least 6 feet above the floor. The $100,000 Caesars Invitational trophy takes precedence over the wedding picture. Oh well, sleeping on the couch again. After 2 more trips back to Home Depot I finally score 12 sheets of plywood Thursday morning. I make two extra trips around the parking lot just to piss off the others in the marathon length line.
The media is telling us we have a mandatory evacuation starting at noon but I'm cutting plywood singing, "I'm here for the party, and I ain't leaving till the throw me out". I must be getting on my neighboor's nerves, cause he's yelling "Shut the hell up, Gretchen". I respond with a 1 finger salutation, I got to learn to turn the Skill saw off the next time I do that.
My boarding up is completed by 6:00pm. 6 hrs after the mandatory evacuation. The cops have discontinued their patrols trying to get me to leave. The gas stations have long been closed due to empty pumps. The TV are showing that the interstate and turnpike are at a stand still. No hotels left in the state. Called Disney looking for a room they've got one for $288/night, 3 day minimum. I gave them instructions of how they should get Mickey neutered.
Looks like I'm riding this thing out. At 11:00 pm I decide to drive down the beach. It reminds you of a Twilight Zone episode. There is no one here. Errrriiieee.... I did pass one couple. One of them looked like a ZZ Topp album cover and she was the one wearing the dress. Maybe this is the Twilight Zone!
Got to go home and do something about this sunburn. This is ironic. I've got first degree burns preparing for a hurricane.
Friday morning my dog falls into river chasing a boat with 3 dogs aboard. He probably sensed the impending doom and tried to jump aboard in an effort to escape. After I fished him out of the river he looked at me with that "what are you nuts for staying here looks".
Well in lieu of live action I'll be relegated to my simulator in anticipation of the up coming Beau Rivage "Flying Asses" BJ tournament. Hope you all see me there. This is scarier than doubling a hard 19. I'll send you updates as long as we have power.
So long from the swamp,
IG
